Hi Susheel,

How have you been? I’m sure that you are surprised by this unexpected letter from me. I know that ours is the age of WhatsApp. But I have decided to take recourse to the older method of snail-mail because I want to share with you something dear to my heart.

I remember telling you a couple of months ago that I was upset with my parents for pressurizing me over my preparation for class XI exam and enrolment in a coaching center as preparation for the medical course. I was under a lot of stress because I felt my parents did not understand me and were forcing me to do, without giving me space, what I didn’t want to do. I didn’t like the idea of decisions about my future being unilaterally made by others. But there was a change in my viewpoint because of the timely intervention of one of my friends called Anuj.

Anuj is a photo-journalist and his unique ideas on a wide range of topics drew me to him. Though my parents didn’t like the idea of my spending a lot of time with him, it is because of him that my problems with my parents got resolved.

When Anuj realized that I was getting agitated over the conditions put by my parents over me, he taught me the technique of self-observation to control my emotions. He told me that it was important to note how our body reacts to emotions, both positive and negative, for self-awareness. Once we are aware of our physical behavior, we can control our mental thoughts.

This is possible because of the stage of distancing that takes place. When we start observing our physical responses, we distance ourselves from them. When we distance ourselves from our own behavior, we are more objective about ourselves and are able to control our thoughts. Moreover, when we control our negative physical behavior, we don’t displease people with whom we interact. But most importantly, we also realize that we ourselves could be in the wrong.

The same thing happened to me also. To begin with, when my mother made derogatory references to Anuj and my hanging out with him, as usual, I was angry. But once I started observing my physical reaction, I was able to control my agitation, retain my poise and speak calmly about what my association with Anuj meant to me. With this assertive but not arrogant behavior, I could convince my parents that they had to allow me to accommodate my interests even as I tried to do justice to my academic performance.

When my parents exhibited the spirit of accommodation, I too felt that their insistence on my pursuance of medical degree was not at all a bad idea. Thus, there was reconciliation between my parents and me and I can now say, ‘All is well that ends well.’ But all this was possible because of a level-headed, intelligent and empathetic person – Anuj.

When you come down next, let’s make it a point to meet him. I’m sure you will immensely enjoy his company. Do let me know when you plan to come down.

Warm regards 

Vikrant