Here is your answer.

If I could fly, I would soar high up in the mountain tops, above the clouds. As the sky’s great solitude engulfed me, I would, at last experience the unbridled freedom of our avian neighbors. I would join a flock of MIGRATING Canada GEESE in their majestic V FORMATION. Hopefully I would be the tip of the V, because I have a feeling the other geese look up to that goose. I would glide above oceans and lakes, skimming the water and diving to catch fish in my mouth. I would then go home and bake the fish in the oven with some lemon and dill. Just because I can fly doesn’t mean I like to eat raw fish.

If I could fly, I would go to the park and look down at all the people lying on their blankets and flying kites, and I would use the pair of SCISSORS I brought to cut all the kite strings I see. The gift of flight would come with many humorous perks like this.

If I could fly I would land on a telephone wire with the pigeons and finally see exactly how they aim their droppings so accurately at the people below. Then just to make sure I understand, I would give it a go. I’d try to keep my droppings small like a pigeon’s, but I’m a human so I can’t promise anything.

If I could fly, I would join the seagulls hovering around one of those little old ladies on the boardwalk, vying for the pieces of stale bread she tosses out. Since I don’t share the advantage of a beak, I would punch the seagulls around me to get my fair share. I also wouldn’t rule out punching the old lady if she’s favoring the other birds too much - nature can be cruel, I would SOON learn.

If I could fly, I would build a nest high up in the trees with the eagles. I wouldn’t keep eggs in the nest, but rather the purses and jewelry I stole from people in random swoopings.


Hope you like it.