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How to Become the Boss of Your Emotions

Medically reviewed by Jennifer Litner, LMFT, CST — Written by Crystal Raypole on April 28, 2020

Consider the impact

Regulate

Name it

Accept them

Journal

Breathe

Read the room

Get some space

Meditate

Manage stress

Therapy

The ability to experience and express emotions is more important than you might realize.

As the felt RESPONSE to a given situation, emotions play a key part in your reactions. When you’re in tune with them, you have access to important knowledge that helps with:

decision-making

RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS

day-to-day interactions

self-care

While emotions can have a helpful role in your daily life, they can take a toll on your emotional health and interpersonal relationships when they start to feel out of control.

Vicki Botnick, a therapist in Tarzana, California, explains that any emotion — even elation, joy, or others you’d typically view as positive — can intensify to a point where it becomes difficult to control.

With a little practice, though, you can take back the reigns. Two studies from 2010Trusted Source suggest that having good emotional regulation skills is linked to well-being. Plus, the second one found a potential link between these skills and financial success, so putting in some work on that front may literally pay off.

Here are some pointers to get you started.

1. Take a look at the impact of your emotions

Intense emotions aren’t all BAD.

“Emotions make our lives exciting, unique, and vibrant,” Botnick says. “Strong feelings can SIGNIFY that we embrace life fully, that we’re not repressing our natural reactions.”

It’s perfectly normal to experience some emotional overwhelm on occasion— when something wonderful happens, when something terrible happens, when you feel like you’ve missed out.

So, how do you know when there’s a problem?

Emotions that regularly get out of hand might lead to:

relationship or friendship conflict

difficulty relating to others

trouble at work or school

an urge to use substances to help manage your emotions

physical or emotional outbursts

Find some time to take stock of just how your uncontrolled emotions are affecting your day-to-day life. This will make it easier to identify problem areas (and track your success).