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Answer» Wine Lover's Nightmare...My wife is inconsolable can't stop sobbing. truenorthGilda put the photograph down. Thinking about her son- part of some cult - tore her up INSIDE. "What kind of a grape wants to get smashed beneath the feet of humans?" She mused to herself. "He's helping people" Said her husband, Christopher Concord, sensing her distress. He didn't die in vain; because of him, and the countless others who sacrificed themselves, people won't be drinking the kool-aid, they will be tasting a fine wine. And think of the celebrities he must have met! Mary Muscadine, Kirby Catawba, Miller Muscat... And without him, more people would be perfectly sober." "Besides; he wouldn't want you looking glum at his memorial; try to remember the good times. His body will be here in time for it, we, and his friends- can pay our last respects and have a good old bash in his honour." Just then, there was a knock on the door. Christopher opened it. "Hello, I'm Malaga Mulder, this is Scuppernong Skully. We're from the RRR. I'm afraid we have to bring some bad news. It's about your son." "Oh hello random Raisin Renegades! Would you like a hot BEVERAGE to help combat this killing frost?" Said Gilda Grape, trying to ignore the inevitable reason they came. "I... think you should sit down...", the Agent said; guiding them to their own living room. "the shipment containing the remains of your son has had a terrible accident. Over 30 million of the corpses that committed mass suicide were spilled." he continued. Including Case Unit 47, where your son's remains were being stationed. "Oh..." Gilda gurgled, ALMOST spitting out her own seed. "This is awful news" Christopher said Solemnly. How did it happen? "well, from what we understand, it was caused by a few humans who had a few too many and decided to hold a forklift race. It ended in disaster. Skully here heard it in her thoughts." "It was as if a quarter million bottles of wine were uncorked, and suddenly shattered." She said. "A forklift race... what were they drinking?". Gilda inquired "Wine". The sound of that word was Deafening in Gilda's ears. She turned to Christopher. "You said he was helping people, you said it was for the greater good!" she said, before she started sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm afraid, that I have to ask you to identify his stain." Mulder said, showing a polaroid of a Merlot stain. "OH GAWD THAT'S HIM" Gilda cried through her sobs. It would have been a long recovery even without this piece of information. Losing a family member to a cult is one thing, but finding out that the little good that cult was trying to do caused even more HAVOC takes a lot out of a person's spirit.A bitter end for a bitter wine. How fitting.I somehow keep thinking about what would happen if 462 cases of Russian Vodka met their fate like this. Quote from: Transfusion on July 25, 2011, 05:29:14 AM I somehow keep thinking about what would happen if 462 cases of Russian Vodka met their fate like this.that would happen after the staff consume a case or two of the vodka and try to drive the forklift. Wonder if the forklift driver is still employed. |
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